6 things that actually changed my life in 2025
L-Theanine
If you’ve been around me at all for the last four-ish months, you have heard me wax poetic about L-Theanine. I had heard of this supplement for years in a casual way, oh yeah it helps with stress, oh yeah I should probably start taking that…but I didn’t start until a few months ago when my new psychiatrist recommended that I take L-theanine with my adderall, or with my morning coffee (I am insanely sensitive and even though I need stimulation, I’m very goldilocks about it and become overstimulated in an instant).
So I started taking L-Theanine like she suggested, and suddenly noticed that…coffee didn’t make me anxious anymore. Adderall didn’t make me jittery. And when I was having one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong and I was on the brink of rage-tears throughout the day, taking L-Theanine took that feeling away.
All I know is that it’s made of the same stuff in green tea, it’s some sort of amino acid, and it’s my new best friend.
(Additional bonus hack - I think it’s made my stomach flatter. I don’t know how but I noticed that after taking it for a few months and then when I googled my hunch, it turns out there is research around its destressing properties helping get rid of abdominal fat. Huh!)
2. Exercise as an add-on, not as an individual activity
For years, I have hated exercise. I’ve hated having to strap myself into tight spandex to workout. I’ve hated having to do more laundry due to workout clothes. I’ve hated having to shower more, having to wash my hair more, having to brave the outdoor weather to exercise, having to pay for classes, having to motivate myself to do it…truly, all of it.
Then a couple months ago I bought a walking pad off of my friend who had stopped using hers. I put it on the opposite side of my standing desk - so on one side I could sit and work, and then when I rose my desk, I could go around to the other side and walk on the pad while getting some work done, or watching YouTube.
I suddenly started walking miles a day. And suddenly my “need to see a new psychiatrist” started to slowly disappear too. Goddamnit. Everyone was right. Exercise is important.
I knew exercise was important for years, but the knowledge was simply never enough power to get me off my ass to do it. (See: everything in paragraph 1).
I realized that having a walking pad under my standing desk helped get rid of all of those pesky things that kept me from exercising. By walking while working (and watching YouTube), I didn’t have to change into workout clothes. I didn’t have to do more laundry. I didn’t have to shower after, or wash my hair. I didn’t have to brave the changing weather, and I didn’t need to set aside an hour of my day to workout. I just…did it mindlessly while doing other things.
It wasn’t something to add into my day, it was something I just did while doing something else…and somehow that made it much easier to do. Even as I’m writing this up - I’m currently walking on the pad. And after I walk on the pad…going outside feels easier. Leaving the house feels easier. I just feel more mentally well overall.
I can’t believe how accurate it is that moving your body helps your brain. And I knew this - but it wasn’t until this year that I found a way to make it work for me.
3. Making a Discord for my local friends
I’ve been blessed to make amazing friends here in Denver. I’ve been in this new city for a bit over two years, and already I have more friends here than I ever did in five years of living in New York City - which is wild. In fact, I started to make so many friends that social scheduling became complicated.
Each time I wanted to see a movie, or go out, I could either a) put together an annoying group chat of ~8 people or b) individually text 12 people and see if they wanted to go out, and then put together a group chat from who said “yes”
So I decided to start a Discord channel with my friend group - with channels of “events” and “hangouts” and “political-and-protests” and “shower-thoughts” and “woo-woo” and “boy-talk” and revive what I’ve always wanted: AIM again in the year 2025.
And a huge credit to my friends - the Discord is very active. Thank god!!!! Because this is not the first time I’ve tried to get a Discord/Slack group going and in the past it has just been me in there alone trying to get something started.
But now, we have an amazing place to throw out ideas for local events in Denver to go to, hangouts or crafting nights, volunteering events we’re going to - and people can plug and play in as needed. It’s great because I no longer feel like I need to group coordinate everything on text, everyone is able to ping ideas around in there, and whether we want to talk about how it’s raining a lot one night in Denver, or how we’re planning a Christmas party - it can all be done in one spot.
4. Diving deep on a signature hairstyle
You guys have heard me talk before about how emotional my hair is for me. I can’t even describe just how contentious and complicated my relationship is with my hair. Some people have mommy or daddy issues…I truly have hair issues that are on par with that. My relationship with my hair is storied, and vast, and this year I just wanted to do something about it.
I considered - truly - shaving all of my hair off and getting wigs. I considered permanent straightening. I considered everything under the sun to solve my problem of - I like having my hair long and blonde and managed, but to have it that way is overstimulating, expensive, and takes so much time.
One of the biggest problems for me is that I didn’t have a signature hairstyle. I often think that my life would be much easier if I could be like a cartoon character - the same outfit and same hairstyle every day. I know this is something that Steve Jobs has often thought, but I prefer referring to it as my “cartoon character” ideology instead of “Steve Jobs vibes”
So I took to apps and FaceTune premium to nail down what hair color and hair style looks best on me. Blonde hair color, and smooth but voluminous hair looks best. Then I took stock of how much time I have in the day, and how overstimulated I get by my hair. I like having long hair - and having it down - but I hate hate hate hair in my face at all, whatsoever.
I made a Pinterest board of hairstyle ideas for long hair - that’s still kept out of the face - and committed myself to trying each of these hairstyles every day for a week to see which one worked. I bought a variety of clips and tools (something that I had put off doing for years because I had assumed my hair would “just always be a lifelong issue”) and in doing this found…a few perfect hairstyles that fit my exact criteria.
It amazed me how quickly I was able to solve this “lifelong” problem I had had…and I realized that I had probably put it off because it seemed vain and superficial.
I’m able to solve work problems and psychological problems and find solutions for “things that matter” but I hadn’t mentally committed myself to the idea of doing this for my hair because it felt like an ingrained part of me/something that could never change and I was born with.
Sometimes - especially when it comes to physical appearance - I think we end up adopting an “oh well, it is what it is” mentality (which is close to the “love yourself just the way you are” mentality they suggest…but we never quite get there, do we?) and it can sometimes keep us from finding solutions. But when I decided to treat hairstyle experimentation the same way I would treat A/B testing a marketing email, and diving into it with scientific experimentation goggles on…it showed amazing results.
5. Finally finding a psychic I trust (and worship)
I can’t even say her name here because about 12 of my friends have used her at this point, and they keep suggesting her to other people, and I’m afraid that she will get too busy and I won’t be able to see her anymore. But after years of searching, I found an honest to god psychic and seeing her quarterly has been amazing.
6. Keeping a list of “wants”
For a good chunk of 2025, I was pretty depressed. I was seeing a therapist, and a career coach, and supplement-maxxing (this is something I have coined myself, as someone who probably needed SSRIs but was too scared of them). I was micro-dosing mushrooms. I was getting into tarot. I was “trying to hack it” in a bunch of ways because I was…wantless.
I realized this when I suddenly had no appetite. No matter what, I just wasn’t hungry. I got bloodwork done and my iron and ferritin levels were abysmal, my cortisol was sky high, I was paranoid and nervous all the time. Stress nightmares every night. Constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing that would end up offending someone (unfortunately, saying things is the bulk of my job) and I just for the life of me, couldn’t eat.
I also didn’t enjoy the things I used to do. Vision boards didn’t appeal to me. What’s the point? Setting new goals for work didn’t appeal to me. Grow my audience? Just so I can see more negative things about me? No, thanks. Put myself out there more? God, I want to do the opposite. Color and paint? What for? I couldn’t force myself to work, but I also couldn’t allow myself to engage in pleasure.
And to top it all off, I had gone off of my birth control (in an attempt to help my mental health) and the hormonal waves from this made me…insane. Some days I would just lay in bed crying. Some days I was full of rage. I was going through a friendship breakup and fully crashed out over it. I had no idea what mood I would be waking up to each day.
I would spend each day waking up, doing work, waiting until 3-5pm, then getting high, then finally getting the munchies so I could eat a bit, and…rinse and repeat for…months?
And one of these nights I had a thought “I have no appetite,” I thought as I was wandering around my kitchen. “I am hungry for nothing…I have no hunger.”
And then I thought about that again. I have no appetite…I have no hunger.
Yes, I didn’t want to eat anything at that moment. But I also didn’t want to do anything. I had no hunger, no appetite, no passion, no drive, no motivation…I had no appetite - in all senses of the word.
The thought kept staying with me for days after that night, and it reminded me of something I had written in my breakup e-book. The minute you get the urge to eat anything after a breakup, eat it. No matter what it is, just eat it. And when one day, you finally feel okay enough to want to eat a meal, you will remember that meal and it will feel like such an amazing accomplishment to eat it.
I still remember after a particularly bad break-up, when I couldn’t eat for weeks, finally one day being in the mood for shrimp scampi and randomly ordering it. I ate the whole thing and felt amazing - and I’m positive that only happened because I took advantage of that fleeting whim and just ordered exactly what I was craving in those five seconds.
So I started to keep a list on my phone of “WANTS”. Anytime I wanted something - even for a second - I would put it in that list.
One day I randomly thought about a cookie cake, and it seemed kinda nice for a bit. In the list it went! One day I considered buying an electric guitar. In the list! I was watching a TikTok video that had a nice river/stream in it and suddenly in the list was “finding a stream near me would be nice?”
The second I had a desire for something - no matter how small or how fleeting - I put it down in my list. I was trying to develop my muscle of wanting again.
Did I do everything on the list? Of course not. For months I didn’t do any of it - I would just randomly update the list if I felt a desire for something. And slowly, wanting came back. I didn’t make plans to go find a river near me…but I thought about it more. And the thoughts felt nice. I enjoyed them.
“That could be fun” started to replace the voice in my head that was previously saying “What for? There’s no point”
I could write wayyyy more about this year and everything I did to make myself feel better and climb out of this hole (lowering stress is the #1 thing I had to do…which was done in about 15 different ways…) but the “WANT” list really helped me.
I find that - especially as we get older - we really tend to stop wanting. “Wanting” seems frivolous, so instead we only think about what we “need” and we feel selfless and good for doing that. But when we only focus on needs, and we forget about wants, we soon forget about our appetite in general.
I’m someone who is obsessed with productivity and efficiency and it’s gotten me far in life - but has also held me back in a variety of ways. Desire is useful. Appetite should be encouraged. Hunger is a driver. It feels good to want things - it feels sexy and powerful and inspiring to want.
So I highly encourage everyone to make a “WANT” list that you can add to. It’s enlightening and so fun to see what ends up going on that list - even if it doesn’t materialize in real life.
So before we move into 2026 with thoughts of new years resolutions and ways we’re totally going to be better in “the new year” I wanted to spend some time thinking about this past year - and things that weren’t resolutions for me, but ended up having the same effect.
Let me know what habits/items/changes/swaps in 2025 helped your year! I don’t know how else to end this. But I do want to say that I’ve clocked 1.7 miles on the walking pad since I started this hahaha.