Songs About Drifting Apart From Your Best Friend

Drifting apart from a best friend is something horrific that most people seem to gloss over.

“It’s not like you were dating them” people might say to you, “there are so many other friends out there!”

But babes, I’ve been in your shoes, and trust me, it’s not like a romantic relationship ending because it is much worse. (But, by the way, if you are dealing with a romantic relationship ending, here are some tips to help get over your breakup).

I actually wrote a blog post about my friendship ending a few months ago, but ended up removing it because it was a bit too personal, and raw and to be honest I’m still going through the occasional up and down with it to this day. Like I said - worse than a romantic breakup.

When Bonny and Essena stopped being friends it threw me for a loop.

When Bonny and Essena stopped being friends it threw me for a loop.

But when I was going through this, I kept Googling for songs about friendships ending, and couldn’t find any.

Songs about friendship? Sure. Songs about romantic breakups? Most definitely. But I guess songs about slowly and awkwardly losing touch with someone who used to be your best friend don’t really make it on the radio, so no one bothers to write about them. 

Let my painful experiences be of use to you! (Really, that’s what my blog is all about). Here are the best songs to listen when you're losing touch with your best friend.


1. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer

It’s not a silly little moment. It’s not the storm before the calm. This is the deep and dying breath, of this love that we’ve been working on.

One of John Mayer’s most heartbreaking, and real songs to exist. This talks about the slow death of a relationship, and the moment when you truly realize that all of these little moments of falling apart have culminated in what is the inevitable end of your relationship. You’re devastated, and the other person can tell what’s going on too, but instead of talking about it, you keep slow dancing in a burning room hoping that ignoring the problem will make it not real.

Eventually though, the room always burns down. But to know that someone as hot as John Mayer has felt these emotions and come out okay on the other side gives me a solid feeling of hope!

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2. Don’t Speak by No Doubt

It looks as though, you’re letting go, and if it’s real, well I don’t want to know

This song was on repeat for weeks straight when I was realizing that my best friend and I were no longer best friends. It’s a great song to have on repeat because there are so many covers of it out there on Spotify - so it added some nice variety to my nightly sobs as I scrolled through old Facebook photos of us being close together in college.

(I never said that I am a fully stable person who should be respected)

Like John Mayer, this song is about trying to deny the reality of a situation, and there’s even a line in it that says “I really feel like I’m losing my best friend” so it’s perfect for us in our time of need.

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3. Breathe by Taylor Swift

But people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

A lot of people think that this song is about a romantic relationship, but Taylor Swift actually did write it about falling out of touch with a best friend (one of the many reasons why I adore Taylor Swift). I believe it was her old fiddle player (this song is from the Fearless album - way back) who she drifted apart from, and this song was born from it.

This is also a hopeful message for the rest of us, because Taylor wrote that song, and now she’s good friends with Selena Gomez and half of Hollywood, so that (just like John Mayer’s hotness) gives me hope for the future.

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4. Real Friends by Camila Cabello

I’m just looking for some real friends, all they ever do is let me down. Every time I let somebody in, then I find out what they’re all about.

This song works a bit better for when you’ve been betrayed or let down by a friend, but nevertheless add it to your Sad Friend Breakup playlist because it belongs on there! Also if you’ve moved to a new city and your friend stopped being friends with you there, there’s a line in here that says “because the place I’m living in, just doesn’t feel like home” and while Camila is clearly referring to Los Angeles, I pretended it was the Bay Area and sang my fucking heart out to that line.

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5. Bad Blood by Taylor Swift

It’s so sad to think about the good times, you and I .

We all know this banger so I won’t spend too much time on it, but this is a great one to add to the playlist, and play when you have those moments of anger between sadness. Pretend your best friend is actually Katy Perry and let it out, my friend.

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6. Over You by Miranda Lambert

But you went away, how dare you…I miss you.

This song is absolutely beautiful, it was written by Blake Shelton about his older brother who was killed in a car accident. Cassadee Pope (who Blake mentored on The Voice) did a cover of this that I’m linking below because it is so fucking beautiful and I bawl my eyes out every time I watch it.

The lyrics in this are so simple but so fucking true: You went away, how dare you. Followed by the truth behind the anger, which simply is just: I miss you.

7. Two Ghosts by Harry Styles

We're not who we used to be, We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

This song really does it for me. It’s about drifting apart in a relationship, and realizing one day that you’re both standing together - but you aren’t the same people you were when you met. I especially love this line:

Tongue-tied like we've never known
Telling those stories we already told
'Cause we don't say what we really mean

My best friend and I got to a point where every time we hung out, we were only really talking about memories of our times together back in college, and that was a sad turning point when I realized that our friendship was something in the past as well.

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8. This is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey

There she was, my new best friend, high heels in her hand, swayin' in the wind, while she starts to cry, mascara running down her little Bambi eyes, "Lana, how I hate those guys"

I fucking love this song, I mean I love all of Lana’s songs but the lyrics in this one especially paint such a beautiful story, and this music video of the demo version of the song captures it perfectly.

This song gives me hope for a renewed friendship, it paints a story of a beautiful and dangerous friendship and is great to inspire your daydreams of your new best friend (in between the sobs and Facebook scrolls).

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And lastly, I want to say again that I’m offering big, virtual internet hugs to anyone who is currently going through a friendship break-up, or slow drift. It’s always painful to have a pillar of your life lost or weakened, but just know that you are not alone - other artists and celebrities (and at least one internet blogger right here) have been in your position and come through the other side better than ever.

And if you’re lonely and looking for a new friend to fill your void, here are some ways to make adult friends after college (or really, at any time).

So keep your head up, and playlist on! If hot people like Taylor Swift and John Mayer can get through this, then mere mortals like us absolutely can.

Love,
S