How an INFJ and ENFP use Social Media Differently

I sometimes go through spontaneous spurts of deleting my social media accounts. This usually happens after my weekly Screen Time reminder offensively reports my average daily phone use. It’s always 4 hours or more which is shameful. Don’t I have a job? I don’t understand what I’m possibly doing for 4 hours on a phone every day.

So I declare that I’m “done with social media” and remove Twitter and Instagram from my phone and almost immediately feel superior to ‘the masses’ that are currently using social media. Ha, you fucking sheep. I’m better than you. I’ve been social media free for about 47 seconds so far. Cowards. Give up your addiction!


These ‘cleanses’ typically last about a week before I’m back on.

I was 48 hours into my newest purge this week, when I headed to the gym after work. There’s been a guy on the treadmills that I’ve been running next to for a few days now, who looks like a hotter version of Bart Bass, and he was there again that day.

I hopped on the machine next to him, and started running. I need to tweet about this, I thought.

My new gym crush looks like Bart Bass. Should I get divorced so I can get his attention?

I’m at the gym for the 3rd day in a row and it’s only because a guy here looks like Bart Bass and I’m trying to get his attention.

Taking part of my typical crush routine at the Equinox which means aggressively not looking at or talking to someone and hoping they notice me

I ran for a few minutes, drafting tweets in my head, until it occurred to me what I was doing. What the fuck, you little weirdo, I thought. You don’t even have Twitter right now. This is so weird.

(Also upon reflection, maybe I should talk to myself a bit nicer?)


After my run, I stripped down, rinsed off, and went into the steam room. I sat there, and once again potential tweets started running through my head.

Praying that the Equinox steam room kills my pimple in time for my date tomorrow

What is it about a steam room that changes your perception on sweat? If I’m walking to work I hate it, but in a steam room I’m fiendishly hoping I drip as much as possible.

Nothing clears my head like a good steam room session.

Once again Shannon, what the fuck! How in the hell is a steam room cleansing you when you just keep thinking about random things, turning them into tweets with a character limit, and imagining tweeting them.

I have a damn problem, I thought as I lathered up in the shower.

And whenever I have a problem about anything in life, really, I reached out to my best friend Bridget. She’s an INFJ personality type, and I’m ENFP.

Bridget is different than me. We’re also similar in about a hundred ways, but our actions regarding social media, sharing personal information, and privacy - all very different.

I decided to interview her for Fluently Forward, and see how a 95% introvert (truly) handles social media, and how it differs from me.

Here’s how an INFJ and ENFP use social media differently (and why).

1. So, you're an INFJ - and I remember when you took the Myers-Briggs quiz last you scored 95% introvert. In your own words, how would you describe introversion - both in general, and how it applies to you?

Generally speaking, introversion is the idea of deriving energy internally vs externally. Introversion to me, expanding on this idea, means that I require more alone time than most to regain my energy and feel centered. After 9 hours in an over stimulating work environment where the expectation is for me to be “on” the entire time, it’s not a preference as much as a necessity for me to be alone at night haha. There is no quicker way to make me grumpy than to deprive me of my recharge time. 


2. I know you used to have Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. What led to you getting on these platforms, and what led to you deleting them?

I created facebook, instagram, and twitter accounts for the same reason as most everyone else - they were popular and I was curious. I used them for years, facebook being the longest at around 8 years (with a few breaks in between). I deleted them after I read a book called The Circle. It is fiction, however it touches on a lot of real implications around the idea of how willing we are to volunteer our information. Sometimes very personal information at that. While this is a normalized pattern of behavior in today's digital age, that doesn't necessarily make it a good thing. So I did a social media overhaul and deleted everything. I didn't have definitive plans of being off the platforms forever, however ever since then (a little over 2 years) I still have zero urges to go back.


3. It is crazy how much personal information is out there. Especially since online information can never be truly removed. How do you think we're able to get along so well when we're so different online? You're virtually unfindable, and I'm out here trying to get as many people to see me as possible. You're mysterious, and I talk about putting Nair on my face. Do you think if we met today for the first time, this would cause a riff?

Great question! I think the world of you - always have, always will. So if we met today I *know* I would love you all the same. Even though our online presence is different, I think we admire that difference in one another and that's what makes us so unbreakable. You're the funniest person I know, so getting to check your blog and appreciate your virtual presence is a treat for me. You are un-apologetically yourself online, just like you are in person, and that is a beautiful thing most people cannot say. 


4. I tweet a lot random thoughts that enter my head throughout the day. When random thoughts enter your head, do you share them with someone? Write them down? Reflect and forget? I'm curious. 

Most of the random thoughts I experience throughout the day are fleeting and I don't hang onto them for long. However if I am having a recurring thought, like about my crush haha, I jot It down in the notes app on my phone. And even then, they usually end up getting deleted after some time. Either that, or I text you about them. :P It’s also kinda fun to have thoughts that no one else will ever have access to. Makes me feel mysterious haha!


5. Do you think social media is dangerous? Why/why not?

At the risk of sounding dramatic, yes I absolutely think social media is dangerous. The biggest danger being something we still have yet to see the long term ramifications of - social media's effect on kids. We already see it the form of cyber bullying. Give it time and there will be a multitude of things that never affected people ages 25+. You and I are very lucky; we grew up right on the cusp of social media's explosion. We didn’t own smart phones until college so we can still remember what it was like to grow up without being constantly plugged in. And without an audience to impress, things were not so performative, so we had more freedom to be our weird selves unapologetically. That is so important for kids to experience! And it just feels different for them now. So how all of this will manifest long term I can’t say, but I don’t think it will be good.


6. What app (or idea of an app, maybe it doesn't exist yet) do you think will be huge 5, 10 years from now? Will Instagram take over? Will a new live-streaming app be most popular? What do you think?

In 10 years I think AI will be more prominent across the board. Our apps will all be able to communicate with us in an incredibly personal, individualized way. Basically the “targeted ads” plague on steroids...that is where I see it going. 

How do you use social media (and what’s your Myers Briggs type?) Let me know! I’d love to hear about how your social media usage and personality type relate to each other.

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