The Unexpected Benefit of Being Selfish

This post, to be honest, is mostly for me. But since it helps me so much, I figure it might help others, and also I haven’t broken my habit of needing-to-write-otherwise-I-go-nutso, so here it is.

Lately, I’ve discovered, whenever I’m in my head, or sad about a relationship, or feeling alone, or anxious, or anything really that goes under the category of: “this doesn’t feel great”…I try to be super fucking selfish. And it helps, a lot.

When I say Super Fucking Selfish, I mean being selfish about tiny things. Vain things. Focusing on yourself to the highest degree, practicing self love, just doing things that will benefit you. I don’t advocate for the type of selfishness that means you dick people around for your own benefit, because we can all agree that that’s just cruel.

But, I’m making an official list (yes, for me - but maybe you too!) that I can access anytime I’m feeling blue, or down, and these little selfish distractions will make me feel better.

How do they make me feel better? Well, when I’m anxious, or in my head, I’m worrying about all of the what-if’s. The potential disasters that could be, and things that might happen, and things that can’t be changed but I still worry about. I’m thinking about everyone except myself. I’m thinking of Past Shannon and Future Shannon, but I’m throwing Present Shannon to the wind.

So by doing these vain, selfish acts, I’m bringing my focus into present time. Focusing on myself will stop me from focusing on all the worry and fake scenarios in my mind that are driving me crazy.

That might all be a crock of shit, who knows! But when I do these things, my anxiety halves, and I find myself thinking clearly.

Presenting…your list of vain distractions:

Health and Beauty

  • Paint my nails

  • Floss literally all of my teeth

  • Nair different parts of my face (yes, I Nair my face, and yes it has changed my life)

  • Put my Jade Roller in the fridge and then roll my face

  • Do a face mask

  • Stretch for like…a half hour while watching a Netflix show

  • Research recipes and plan a grocery list

  • Organize my closet

  • Work out

  • Find a signature scent. You know you’ve always wanted to do this!

  • Try to epilate parts of my body. Chicken out and trim them instead.


  • Write a blog post

  • Edit photos of yourself on VSCO

  • Find other NYC bloggers (or whoever is in your field of choice)

  • Take a personality quiz like Myers Briggs, Love Language, or Enneagram Type

  • Change your desktop background

  • Change your iPhone background

  • Watch a stand up special on Netflix. And if you don’t like it, tweet about how you don’t like it.

  • Make a vision board, or brainstorm what you will make on your vision board that you never end up making

This list is currently a Work in Progress, but this blog post has been in the que for weeks now, and if I think of anything new I’ll add it here.

Have an idea of your own? Let me know about it!


MiscShannon McNamaraComment