Crop tops can fuck right off

I could end the blog post here and really be finished with all I have to say, but I feel so strongly about this topic that I have to say some more.

Fuck you, crop tops. And the fashion industry in general for making these popular.

To be fair, there have been many fashion trends that have been loved and hated. I don’t think the fashion industry is on a mission to taunt me and my pooch, specifically. But it really does feel that way sometimes.

I don’t think the fashion industry is on a mission to taunt me and my pooch, specifically.

Scientifically, biologically speaking, crop tops are a horrible idea. (Cue my attempt to try and say that this isn’t an opinion piece). Fat in normal women represent between 18% and 20% of their body weight. Fat in normal men represents much less, about 10% to 15%. We all know why this is - because most women at some point can host and nourish and baby, so the body needs to anticipate that, and store excess energy in the form of fat.

Where do we store this fat? It varies from women to women. But the main area is the buttocks, the thighs, the navel and the pubis. Those last two together form what I call “the pooch”.

And I guess only a few people call it “the pooch” because Google images gives me a 33% success rate with results.

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See that pooch area? Hmm, isn’t it interesting how that’s the area your baby potentially resides in? Makes sense for it to be the fluffiest, fattest part of a woman’s god damn body!

The crop top covers everything except this region and it steams me that fashion companies are not empathizing with me as a women and helping me hide this area.

Frankly, it’s sexist.

So I think we can end the conversation there. Crop tops are rude, and sexist, and fashion companies are on a mission to expose my pooch and destroy my mental health. Case, closed!

Now, on a lighter note, I would like to thank a piece of clothing.

An ode to high-waisted jeans

You ride up high

Past my thighs

And almost…almost reach the sky

But you stop, right at my navel

And because of this, you are able

To keep my mind and emotions stable

You lock me in, you squeeze me tight!

Hide that pooch and make my ass look right!

You make me confident, and I stand tall

I rush to go buy you at the mall

I love you high waisted jeans, you make my body pop off

And crop tops…you can fuck right off